Cupcakes
by savethesalmon
Summary: Uncle Jessie wants to spend some time with Stephanie, but will an innocent play-date soon turn into something out of a horror film? Read it and see!


**WARNING: This fanfiction is incredibly gory, and may ruin your appreciation of a certain Full House character as well as the titular baked goods. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

The air was warm, the sun was shining, and everybody in San Francisco was having a glorious day. The town square was bustling and crowded and busy people filled the streets. All the city folk seemed to have somewhere specific to be. All except Stephanie; her place was in the sky. She tore freely through the air, speeding one way and the next, buzzing the tree tops and racing the wind. The small girl swooped over a schoolyard, much to the delight of the children, then climbed several hundred feet and dove, streaking downward as fast as she could. Seconds before hitting the ground, her arms flew open and she pulled up back into the clear blue. Steph felt alive.

Suddenly, Steph remembered that she had somewhere to be; she was supposed to meet with Uncle Jesse in five minutes. Steph had gotten so caught up in her exercises that she'd nearly forgotten that Jesse had asked to meet her at Sugercube Corner at three. Jesse hadn't said why or what they'd be doing, but Steph knew that with Uncle Jesse, it could be anything. Steph wasn't sure if she really wanted to go, though. She was so engaged with her stunts that she thought about blowing Jesse off to continue flying. But, Steph's conscience got the better of her. She knew that it would hurt Uncle Jesse's feelings; after all, Jesse had said it was going to be something special just for the two of them. Steph considered it and thought "why not?" What did she have to lose? Heck, it might be more pranking. Uncle Jesse might have found a bunch more fun stuff to pull on folks, and they'd had so much fun the last time. Steph kicked into overdrive to make up for lost time, and sped to her appointment.

When Steph walked into the store, she was immediately greeted by her host, who was bouncing in excitement. "Yay, you're here! I've been waiting aaall day," said the jumping person.

"Sorry if I'm a little late, Uncle Jesse. I was doing my afternoon exercises and lost track of time," Steph apologized.

Jesse giggled and responded in a gleefully reassuring tone, "Oh that's ok, you're here now. What's a few more minutes? I've been sooo excited thinking about all fun stuff we're gonna do, I haven't stopped bouncing since I woke up. I mean, I almost forgot to breathe I've been so happy."

Steph gave a slightly uncomfortable laugh. She had always appreciated Uncle Jesse's friendly, outgoing way of life, but Jesse's overabundant enthusiasm almost creeped her out. Steph maintained a polite expression, however. If Jesse was this worked up, whatever he had planned must be good.

"So, you ready to get started, Stephanie? I've got everything all ready," the Californian Uncle said.

Steph psyched herself up. "You betcha, Uncle Jesse. So what do ya got planed? We gonna prank somebody? I got a couple of good ones I've been thinking about. Or maybe you've got some stunts you think I should try? Or perhaps…"

"MAKING CUPCAKES!" Jesse happily announced.

"Baking?" Steph was disappointed. "Jesse, you know I'm not good at baking. Remember last time?"

"Oh that's not a problem at all. I only need your help making them. I'll be doing most of the work," Jesse explained.

Steph thought for about it for a second. "Well, alright, I guess that's ok. What exactly do you need me to do?"

"That's the spirit. Here you go." Jesse handed Steph a cupcake.

Steph was puzzled "I thought I was helping you bake."

"You will be. I made this one just for you before you got here.

"So, is this like taste testing or something?"

"Sorta," Uncle Jesse said.

Stehpanie shrugged and popped the pastry in her mouth. She chewed a bit and swallowed. Not bad.

"Ok, now what?" Steph asked.

"Now," Jesse informed her, "You take a nap."

Puzzled, Steph opened her mouth but felt instantly lightheaded. A wave of dizziness washed over her, the world spun, and seconds later she collapsed to the floor.

When Steph regained consciousness, she found herself in a dark room. She tried to shake her head but found that a taut leather strap held it firmly in place. She struggled to move, but braces around her chest and limbs glued her to a rack formed from a series of sturdy planks, which spread her legs wide apart. Steph's arms were the only part of her not tied down, and they fluttered frantically while she struggled to escape. As she writhed, Jesse jumped suddenly into her line of sight.

"Goodie, you're awake. Now we can get started," Jesse stated gleefully. He bounded into the darkness, and quickly reappeared pushing a small cart covered with a cloth.

"Uncle Jesse, what's going on? I can't move!" Steph said urgently.

"Well duh, that's because you're tied down," chided Jesse. "That's why you can't move. I didn't think you'd need to be told that."

"But why? What's happening? I thought you said I was going to help make cupcakes."

"You are helping. You see, I ran out of the special ingredient and I need you to get more."

"Special ingredient?" Steph was now breathing heavily and starting to panic. "What special ingredient?"

Jesse giggled and responded "You, silly!"

Steph's eyes widened, and her face contorted in fear. Then she started to laugh and said, in a voice bordering on hysteria, "Woo, you really got me there, Uncle Jesse. I mean, tricking me in to thinking I'm gonna get made into a cupcake? I gotta tell you, this the best prank yet. You win, you're the best."

Jesse only giggled even more. "Aw, thanks Steph. But I haven't done any pranks today, so I can't accept your praise."

Steph was struggling again. "Jesse, come on, this isn't funny."

"Then why were you laughing?" Before Stephanie could answer, Jesse grabbed the cloth and whipped it off the cart. On the cart was a tray containing various sharp medical tools and knives, carefully organized and wickedly sharp, as well as a large medical bag.

Steph was now in full panic mode. She was starting to hyperventilate. Her mind raced as she tried to reason with the Californian Uncle. "You can't do this Jesse! I'm your niece!"

"I know you are and that's why I'm so happy that I've got you here. We get to share your last moments together, just you and me." Jesse was skipping again.

"But, the other people will wonder where I am. When the clouds pile up, they'll come looking for me and then you'll get found out," Steph cried in desperation.

"Oh, Steph," said Jessie. "Don't worry, there are plenty of small children to take care of a few clouds. And besides, no one will find out. I mean, how long do you think I've been doing this?" And with that ominous statement, the lights suddenly came to life and revealed the rest the room.

"Oh no." Steph reeled in horror at the image presented to her. The room was decorated with a typical but twisted Uncle Jesse flair. Colorful streamers of dried entrails fluttered around on the ceiling, brightly painted skulls of all sizes were attached to the walls, and organs done up in pastels filled with helium were tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chairs were made of bones and the preserved flesh of past people. Steph cringed upon seeing the center piece of the table nearest to her. The heads of four children, their eyes closed as if they were sleeping, were wearing party hats made from their own skin. With a thrill of terror, Steph recognized one of them as Michelle's classmate Ted. Steph's eyes darted back and forth and then fell upon a patchwork banner hanging from the rafters. Made from several tanned people hides, the words "Life is a party" were scrawled on it in blood red.

Steph's attention was brought back by a party horn unfurling and tickling her nose. She gaped at Uncle Jesse, who was standing right in front of her. The Californian Uncle was wearing a dress quilted from dried skin, emblazoned with tattoos. On his back fluttered six people's arms, all of different colors. As the Californian Uncle skipped in excitement, his necklace of severed hippy braids clacked together loudly.

"Like it?" Jesse asked. "I made it myself."

Desperately, Steph pleaded with the smiling uncle before her. "Jesse please, I'm sorry if I did anything to you. I didn't mean it. Please let me go. I promise I won't tell anybody."

"Oh Steph, you didn't do anything. It's just that your number came up and, well, I don't make rules. We can't turn back now."

Steph was tearing up. How could this be happening?

"Aww, don't be sad Steph," said Jesse. "Look, this'll cheer you up. I brought you a friend."

Seemingly out of nowhere, Jessie produced a brightly painted blue and yellow skull. It was about baby sized, but it had a very defining feature: a unibrow.

Steph gaped in shock. "Is…is that….is…that?"

"Hey, Steph lets hang together. These people are lame-os. Dweebs dweebs dweebs," Uncle Jesse mimicked. "I caught her right before she left town. Remember when I left the party for about twenty minutes? That wasn't enough time to play with her of course; I had to wait till after the party to do that. But boy am I glad I did. It was worth it for the flavor alone. Baby taste like two animals at once, it's amazing. I know she didn't have a number like everyone else in San Francisco, but when was I gonna get another chance to try baby? I probably should have asked where she came from so I could have gotten more, but I forgot. I'll tell you what though, she was quite the fighter. She lasted a long time, which was a lot of fun for me. I got the chance to play with somebody other than an adult and try new things. It's too bad she had such a meanie mouth. She said so much bad stuff I just had to take her tongue out. You know, bad language makes for bad feelings, Stephanie."

Steph didn't have anything to say. She just sobbed and writhed in her tight bonds.

"Well" said Jesse with an air of finality, "that's enough reminiscing. It's time to begin."

Putting down the baby's skull, the Californian Uncle gripped a scalpel in the palm of his hand and walked over to Steph's right leg. Without any flair, Jesse placed the blade an inch above Steph's tattoo and began a circular cut around it. Steph shouted in pain and tried desperately to pull away, but the braces held her still. Finishing the incision, Jesse grabbed a curved skinning knife from the tray. Screwing up his face in concentration, he worked it under Steph's skin and sliced the hide away from the muscle. Steph ground her teeth as she tearfully watched her flesh peel off. Jesse then moved to the other side and repeated the process on Steph's left leg. Once he had finished, Jesse held up both tattoos in front of his niece and started waving them like pompoms. Steph just whimpered. Her thighs burned like nothing she had felt before.

Placing the ragged patches of skin down, Jesse selected a large butcher knife and walked behind the small child. "Hope you don't mind, I think I'm gonna wing it now," Jesse laughed. He grabbed Steph's left arm in his mouth and played with it for a few seconds, yanking it back so the sharp pain reignited the fire in Steph's legs. Then, stretching the arm out, Jesse brought the blade down hard at the shoulder. Instantly, Steph screamed and thrashed her appendage. The movement threw off Jesse's aim. He tried to hit the mark again but missed, and carved a huge slice into Steph's back.

"Steph, you gotta stay still or I'll keep missing," scolded Jesse as his niece howled.

Jesse took another whack and hit his target. He swung again and again. Blood sprayed into the air, but Jessie realized he wasn't getting anywhere. The blade just wasn't going through the bone.

"Hmm, I guess I forgot to sharpen it. I'll try something else," stated Jesse matter-of-factly as he tossed the knife over his shoulder, embedding the blade in the table. Through the haze of pain and tears, Steph heard the sound of a metal box opening and closing.

"Got it! Say Steph, why do they call it a hack saw? It doesn't hack; hacking is what I was doing with the knife. This is a saw. I don't get it."

Jesse placed the tool over the mangled flesh of the last attempt. Standing on his legs, he worked the saw back and forth with his bare hands. It sliced effortlessly through the bone and skin. The feeling of the jagged teeth grinding into her made Steph want to vomit. She watched numbly as her arm flew over her head and landed with a fluff on the table. Jesse moved to the next arm and started sawing. Steph didn't struggle this time; she'd given up trying to fight and focused on choking back screams of agony. Abruptly, the sawing paused. Jesse was only half way done, the arm hanging off by a sliver.

"Hey Steph," Jesse piped up. "Think fast!"

Suddenly, Jesse yanked the wing as hard as he could. The bone snapped but the small child's skin held, then tore away. The pull ripped away a long strip of flesh all the way down Steph's back to her rump. Her body seized at the unexpected trauma. As her pelvis tensed up, Steph felt a warm release between her legs, and her loud, unending melody of pain filled the room. Unable to catch her breath, she blacked out.

Steph awoke with a gasp. The stench of her urine filled her mucus caked nostrils. As her vision swam into focus, she saw a very pouty Uncle Jesse removing a large adrenaline needle from her chest. Stomping his feet, the frustrated Jesse lashed out at his helpless victim.

"Didn't anybody teach you any manners? It's very rude to fall asleep when somebody invites you over to spend time with them. How would you like it if I came over to your house and went to sleep? 'Oh I'm sorry Steph, you're so boring I think I'll take a nap.' You think I like always doing this by myself? I told you how excited I got when I found you were next. I was excited to have a friend be here with me while I worked. But NOOOOO! You've got to be inconsiderate. You know, I thought you were tough. I thought you could handle anything. I've had toddlers stand up better than you! Do I have to baby you? Huh? Is that how you want me to remember you, as a baby?"

As Jesse stopped to catch his breath, Steph blinked and sobbed softly. Her back was in agony, her sides were on fire, and there was an intense pain in one of her legs. As she blinked again, she saw Jesse pop something red into his mouth and began to chew. Noticing Steph's stare, Jessie quickly gulped the morsel down.

"What?" Jesse asked. "Oh, this?" He held up another piece. "Well, while YOU were asleep, I got a little impatient and helped myself to a small sample. I got it from your leg; you're not bad. Wanna try some?"

Without waiting for a response, Jesse shoved the strip of meat into the revolted child's mouth. Steph gagged, and immediately spit it out. Jesse frowned, and picked up the chunk of flesh. "If you didn't want it, you could have said no." He contemplated the discarded snotty morsel, then gulped it up. "It's not like you haven't had my cupcakes before."

Swallowing, Jesse turned his attention to a small can on the tray. He removed the lid, revealing that it was filled with red-hot coals. Lying on top of the coals were several large nails. As the adrenalin filled her veins, Steph began to panic again. Picking up the can, Jessie walked over to Steph's left. Holding some tongs with his mouth, Jesse carefully picked up a nail and positioned it at the seam between his victim's front left leg and foot. He then grabbed a hammer and took careful aim.

"No Jesse!" Steph screamed. "NO! NO!"

The hammer came down and the nail punctured Steph's skin. The white hot burning was too much. Steph screamed as she pulled and thrashed at the braces, causing her raw skin to rub and tear. Jesse tried to line up another nail, but couldn't find his aim, and let out a frustrated grunt. When Jessie brought the hammer back to take a wild swing, Steph burst out crying and begging.

"PLEASE STOP! PLEASE, PLEASE STOP!"

Jesse rolled his eyes. Putting down the hammer and tongs, he walked back in front of his friend and stared pensively at the broken child. Uncle Joey didn't even cry this much when he had a live rabbit stuffed down his throat. Jesse thought for a minute about what to do next, then had a sudden spark of inspiration.

Rotating a wheel on the rack, Jesse laid Steph on her back, then moved to Steph's legs, bringing the can with him. Picking up his tools, Jesse drove a searing hot spike of metal directly into the bottom of Steph's ankle. As Steph yelled in pain, Jessie moved around and drove a second nail into the other ankle. Next, Jesse went back to his cart and located an enormous battery and controller, which he dragged over to where he was working. He tied copper wires between the terminals and the nails driven into Steph's ankles, then gave Steph a wink and flipped the switch.

Electricity rocketed through Steph's body. The small child reacted immediately; her body seized, and her muscles snapped taut. Steph's hips thrust skyward, her eyes rolled back, and she let out a deep, throat shredding cry. Jesse giggled and danced in place, then reached down and turned up the juice. Steph convulsed uncontrollably, and her bladder emptied once more.

After about five minutes, Jesse shut off the power. Wisps of steam rose from the singed skin around Steph's hooves, and the area reeked of cooked flesh and burnt bone. Jesse rotated Steph upright again and tried snap the drooling, delirious child back to attention.

"Steph? Steph! Stephanie Tanner, wake up!" Steph moaned and managed to give a modicum of weak acknowledgment. Jesse studied his handiwork, then reached into the medicine bag and produced a large syringe. "Alright, time for the last round."

Steph focused blearily on the needle, which Jessie took as a question as to what it was.

"This is a little something to take the pain away," Jesse informed Steph as he walked around to his victim's ruined back. Steph flinched as Jesse jabbed the needle into the lower part of the child's spine. Moving in front of his niece again, Jesse leaned down and elaborated.

"In a few minutes, you won't be able to feel anything below your ribcage. Then you'll be able to stay awake to watch the harvest."

Steph started to cry again. "Uncle Jesse?" she choked out.

"Yeah?"

"I want to go home," Steph sobbed.

"Yeah, I can see wanting to do that," replied the Californian Uncle. "Sometimes, I just wanna give up, just say 'I'm done with this mess' and go to bed. But you know what? You can't shrug off your responsibilities. You got to pull yourself up and meet the challenges head on. That's the only way you're gonna get ahead in life."

Steph hung her head and cried.

Minutes passed as the drug took effect. Eventually, Steph was completely numb from her chest to her feet. At this point, Jesse approached with a scalpel. Glancing at Stephanie and smiling, Jesse made a long horizontal cut across the small child's pelvis, just above her crotch. Moving up Steph's body, Jesse made a similar incision under her ribs. Finally, Jesse made a long vertical cut down Steph's stomach, connecting the first two.

"Looks like I got my 'I' on you, Steph," Jesse giggled.

With a moist, gooey sound, the flaps of skin opened. The sight of her own organs and the lack of feeling caused Steph's breathing to intensify. Jesse carefully sliced open Steph's abdominal sac and grabbed her large intestines. As he separated the organ from the rest of the digestive tract and pulled it out of the new cavity, Jesse grew jovial. Laughing as he gutted his niece, Jesse began to make jokes. Steph, growing weaker from this new source of blood loss, tried desperately to shut out the macabre comedy act.

"Look at me, I'm D.J!" Jesse laughed, slinging the intestinal tube around his neck and spraying blood in all directions. "Isn't my new scarf soooo pretty?"

Reaching back inside, he sliced the smaller intestine off from the bowls. Squeezing out the excess excrement, Jesse filed the slimy organ through his teeth and dragged it back and forth. "Dentists say you gotta floss every day, Steph."

Stephanie was barely aware of what was going on anymore. The shock was causing her to fade. Disappointed, Jesse dived back into the child's guts, ramping up his routine.

"Aw, don't go yet Steph." Jesse started pulling out the rest of Stephanie's organs, pausing with each removal. "I know I can be a real pancreas, but you know I'm just kidney with you. You really got to learn to liver it up. Boy, these jokes are getting bladder. Guess ya gotta develop a stomach for them."

Jesse placed the discarded body parts into a bucket, keeping the last one for bit longer. "Ooo, bagpipes." he said, placing the end of Steph's esophagus in his mouth and the stomach in his armpit. He squeezed, and a spurt of acid hit his tongue. "Eww! Oh hey look, there's your cupcake, Steph!"

Steph didn't hear her tormentor. She had slipped from conciseness minutes ago. Jesse, not yet satisfied, hit Steph with another adrenaline shot. Steph woke up for the last time, her heart pounding. Warm blood flowed out from the wound in her chest in great spurts. It wouldn't be long now.

Jesse brought Steph around onto her back again and straddled the child's chest, scalpel at the ready.

"Ya know, Stephanie, I'm disappointed. I thought you would have lasted longer. I really wanted to spend more time with you before we got here. But I guess it's my fault; I should have taken it a little slower. Oh well. It was really was nice knowing you, Steph!"

The blade sunk into the small throat and worked its way up to Steph's chin. Coming back down, Jesse's scalpel then circled Steph's neck. The last thing Stephanie felt was her skin being cut away from her skull, and the metal of the blade scraping her teeth.

Then she was gone.

Uncle Jesse stared into the mirror. He had done a really good job, even keeping the eyelids. He winked, and Steph winked back. Jesse smiled.

But still, he was sad that his niece was now gone. Steph had only lasted fifty minutes, not nearly as long as Jesse had wanted. He looked back at the cadaver hanging in the center of the room, the last of his friend's fluids draining into a pan. Yup, no more Stephanie Tanner.

As he looked, Jesse cocked his head. He began to take notice of the fact that there really wasn't much damage to the corpse. "In fact," the Uncle mused, "I think…." An idea exploded in his head. He was good at sewing and he had all the pieces, all he had to do was put them back together. Yeah, he just had to get some stuffing and bingo, he'd have Stephanie forever. In fact, thought Jesse, that's what he'd do for all his best friends when their numbers came up. He was so excited; he skipped right over to the body with his skinner to get started. The cupcakes could wait; Uncle Jesse had a friend to make.


End file.
